can you hold my hands?

It has been...
random thoughts.
random arguments.
random phrases.
random tales.
random smiles.
random burst of emotions.
random failures.
random success.

It feels like I am saturated with the laughter and sadness that everyday covers.
i don't know why i am experiencing this weird feeling.
I don't know if I am loosing my grip.
and sometimes I am wondering why people flip the coin when they already skip the part of their soon-to-be fortune.

I am making my disclaimer statement... IT IS LIFE IN GENERAL.
i want to bathe in the fountain of rejuvenation...
It feels like I am wounded in many fights...
fight for living.
fight for striving.
fight for speaking.
fight for accusations.
fight for being naive.

but I am still fighting. The spirit is still there.
when it will be time for death.
I am blinded.
I don't know where to run.
will I run to you and be accepted?
and who are the YOUS?
you is so collective in nature. It can be you and others.
I feel succumb about my rantings.
When it will be right?
Do I need to fast forward the events?
should I go slow?
I am doubting now.

I am so afraid.




P.S.
can you hold my hands C?
I am so scared of life.